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Never did I imagine that I would ever have to write this, but my dear friend, Tammy aka Evil T/otterevil, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly April 22. I am heartsick at her loss and can't imagine my world without her. I don't know if I can type this out without falling apart again.
She had been in hospital due to a broken bone, and she couldn't get on living by herself so had been checked into hospital. I was in contact with her up to April 18th, when she told me she was being transferred to a rehabilitation facility the next Monday. I tried contacting her several times after and received no response. I was concerned, but didn't want to leap to conclusions, and I knew she'd been having financial difficulties, so thought maybe her cell had been shut off. I contacted Arduinna hoping she had heard from Tammy. On Friday, Arduinna emailed me with the horrible news: she'd found Tammy's obituary. The guestbook attached to the obituary had expired, so I renewed it for the year to see if I could discover any information on what had happened. One lady from her knitting circle had left a contact link, and I emailed her in hopes of learning something. She said that even locally, there was no posting of a funeral home, memorial, nothing. No closure.
Tammy's obituary is here, along with the guestbook. It would mean a great deal to me if those of you knew her would sign it. My hope is her young niece may come across it at some point and know her aunt was loved and a cherished friend.
Since nothing was done in memory of her, I'm collecting money to make an In Memoriam donation to Best Friends in her name. Tammy loved her kitties so much, and I know she'd like to help other cats in need in her name. If you make a donation, please let me know what name you'd like included on the Memorial Wall. And thank you.
It has been eighteen years since I met TamTam on FORKNI, 18 years of happy times and tragedies. From trips we took together, and fic we cowrote, to the death of her parents a year apart and her fight with cancer. Life had been a struggle these last several years, but it seemed things were turning around. Tammy had decided to sell up and move here to Utah to be closer to people who could look out for her and help her get her health back. I'd sent her area info and rental info, not knowing she was already gone. We were going to be little old lady spinsters, living in side by side cabins, with a cute gardener to watch from the porch together. But none of that will ever be. I hope she's at peace now, reunited with her parents, her struggles over.
I will miss you, dearest friend, more than you will ever know. I love you, TamTam. God keep your soul in his embrace.
Me and Tammy, 1997, Syndicon East PWFC Breakfast
ETA: Please see the comments for more on Tammy's final days. Thank you, Deb, for sharing this with us.
She had been in hospital due to a broken bone, and she couldn't get on living by herself so had been checked into hospital. I was in contact with her up to April 18th, when she told me she was being transferred to a rehabilitation facility the next Monday. I tried contacting her several times after and received no response. I was concerned, but didn't want to leap to conclusions, and I knew she'd been having financial difficulties, so thought maybe her cell had been shut off. I contacted Arduinna hoping she had heard from Tammy. On Friday, Arduinna emailed me with the horrible news: she'd found Tammy's obituary. The guestbook attached to the obituary had expired, so I renewed it for the year to see if I could discover any information on what had happened. One lady from her knitting circle had left a contact link, and I emailed her in hopes of learning something. She said that even locally, there was no posting of a funeral home, memorial, nothing. No closure.
Tammy's obituary is here, along with the guestbook. It would mean a great deal to me if those of you knew her would sign it. My hope is her young niece may come across it at some point and know her aunt was loved and a cherished friend.
Since nothing was done in memory of her, I'm collecting money to make an In Memoriam donation to Best Friends in her name. Tammy loved her kitties so much, and I know she'd like to help other cats in need in her name. If you make a donation, please let me know what name you'd like included on the Memorial Wall. And thank you.
It has been eighteen years since I met TamTam on FORKNI, 18 years of happy times and tragedies. From trips we took together, and fic we cowrote, to the death of her parents a year apart and her fight with cancer. Life had been a struggle these last several years, but it seemed things were turning around. Tammy had decided to sell up and move here to Utah to be closer to people who could look out for her and help her get her health back. I'd sent her area info and rental info, not knowing she was already gone. We were going to be little old lady spinsters, living in side by side cabins, with a cute gardener to watch from the porch together. But none of that will ever be. I hope she's at peace now, reunited with her parents, her struggles over.
I will miss you, dearest friend, more than you will ever know. I love you, TamTam. God keep your soul in his embrace.
Me and Tammy, 1997, Syndicon East PWFC Breakfast
ETA: Please see the comments for more on Tammy's final days. Thank you, Deb, for sharing this with us.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 01:41 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 03:30 am (UTC)From:and thank you so much to arduinna, who i don't know if i knew, too.
tammy, you are beloved. may your journeys be joyful. i will miss you SO MUCH.
xoxxo
chris aka ~cats
no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 05:35 am (UTC)From:I'm unsure whether I knew Tammy on forkni-l, but we must have passed in the posts. The timeframe is exactly right.
I'm so sorry.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 05:56 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 10:21 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 04:00 pm (UTC)From: (Anonymous)CG Liser here...I just got the news about Tam this morning. I'm so very sorry--she will be so missed. Thank you for posting this so that we all could know what happened.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 04:19 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-03 09:03 pm (UTC)From:Our loss
Date: 2014-06-03 11:38 pm (UTC)From: (Anonymous)Since so many of you have posted and are tagged here, I thought I'd post the information I managed to get on Tammy and her passing. I just got off the phone from speaking to Tammy's cousin, Stacey, who was there with her at the end. As many of you know, Tammy was admitted to the hospital after she fell and broke her knee. She was doing well and was going to be moved to a rehabilitation facility. They had done the paperwork and had one picked out. Stacey visited with Tammy at the hospital on Easter and on Monday, the 21st and Tammy looked good and they talked about the rehabilitation facility that they had decided upon for her. The next morning, Stacey received a call from the hospital that Tammy was in the Critical Care Unit and someone needed to get to the hospital immediately. Stacey went and Tammy was unconscious. The doctor told her that all of Tammy's organs had started to shut down. I asked if they knew why and she said they thought it was from the cirrhosis of the liver that she had, which was caused by her weight issues and not drinking. At that point, the doctor informed them that they could "make things look better" with medication, which would only prolong the inevitable and make her end much more painful, or keep her comfortable and let her go naturally. Since Stacey and her mother were listed as Tammy's next of kin, Stacey went and called her mother and they discussed it. Stacey had gone along with Tammy when she had her gastric sleeve surgery and Tammy had told her than that if anything were to happen to her, she didn't want to be kept alive artificially. So although it was a difficult and painful decision, they made the decision to just allow them to keep her comfortable and to pass away naturally. Since she left us that day, she must have been ready. Her cousin apologized for not knowing how to get a hold of us to let us know about Tammy's death. I told her that Tammy was much loved and that many of us were mourning her loss today and that the world was definitely a darker place without her bright smile. I told her about knowing Tammy through Highlander and fandom and she said that Tammy spoke of us (I'm assuming the collective us) often and that we meant the world to her. I also asked about her kitty, Ember, and her niece, Michelle, took her.
**********************************
The MFWC (Methos Flag Wavers Cavalry, from HIGHLA-L days) is working on getting together a donation to Best Friends in Tammy's honor. We're giving people a week to contribute and then Lisa will make it in the Cavalry's name on Tammy's behalf. We also shared this post and the link that you provided for donations in case anyone wanted to contribute directly.
Please don't hesitate to contact me for any reason. I know how much Tammy loved you. We have truly lost a great and shining light from this earth. As I posted earlier, I can just see Tammy now, surrounded by a giant pile of books, her kitties, and a pile of knitting, with the sun shining down on her.
Deb Palmer-Distante
distante@att.net
909-702-9782
Re: Our loss
Date: 2014-06-04 12:09 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2014-06-04 12:17 am (UTC)From:Thank you so much for passing the word about Tammy. There is going to be a big hole in so many hearts as she touched so many of us
-Heidi
Very sad
Date: 2014-06-04 12:19 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)Tammy
Date: 2014-06-04 03:40 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)no subject
Date: 2014-06-05 02:46 am (UTC)From:~